Some years ago the phrase "INNER CHILD" became a catch all word for those things that we experienced as a child. Some things were minor, some major and some quite traumatic, dramatic or tragic that shaped us, made us who we have become and sadly sometimes have hindered us in our journey in and through adulthood.
Every experience we remember often evolves as we mature, sometimes it evolves from a mole hill to a mountain and sometimes as time passes it shrinks from a mountain to a mole hill. Then there are those memories that seem as alive today as they did years ago .... for some of us those years can be 10, 20, 30 or 50 years ago. Some memories are etched in our minds like it happened yesterday. They affect us every waking moment, some subconsciously and some consciously ..... I am pushing the 50 year mark with some of my memories, These memories are from a child who was maybe 7 or 8 years old. They were etched in my brain by a child who was feeling hurt and angry. These memories still affect me. .............
I hate doing dishes! ..... These memories I am about to share are from 50 some years ago, did they actually happen? Yes, but please remember, they are a child's memories. My mother was very critical where it came to dishes. There was her way and that was it. The very positive side is I am now a stickler about my dishes too (when I do them) . The NEGATIVE SIDE ..... is I hate doing them and it has resulted in a less then clean kitchen for the majority of my adulthood. I can go to someone else's place and do them and love it ..... but my own home? .... UGH!! This is my story .... I had very few playmates, my Dad was the village trash collector, meter reader, and repair guy for what went wrong with the village water works and other various things that were his responsibility. So when I had someone to play with it was a monumental thing in my life. I had made friends with two children, a brother and a sister who lived several blokes away. On the day this memory was formed, developed and made, I had dishes to do. I wanted to play with these two kids so my mother called their mother and arrangements were made for them to come and play for ONE HOUR! ...... What took place is; the dishes I did do were put back in the sink for me to redo because they didn't meet with her approval. ..... When the two kids arrived they had to sit and watch me do dishes, FOR THE WHOLE HOUR! ...... I stood at the sink and they sat at the kitchen table. WHAT AN ETCHING!! ..... as a child, I felt WRONGED. It followed me for years ...... my inability to do dishes at home. If I could have taken my dishes to the neighbors house and washed them, it would have been a much easier hill to climb.
Forward to present, my hubby purchased a dishwasher for me for my 50th birthday HALLELUJAH!!!
and now my "Blessings of 5" live with us and "Ms. D" has taken over the kitchen duties. Dishes presently are a choice for me. Inside of all this I have been dealing with "letting go" of them immature emotions that are triggered when I am confronted with dishes. It is not as easy as it may seem but it is possible.
I wish this was the only emotions and incident that I am dealing with as an adult from my INNER CHILD but a bit sadly it's not ..... then again on a very positive note these things have produced a very independent, well rounded, fairly happy individual with a very practical outlook on life.
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