Eating crow ..... an expression used when your humbly shown how self centered you are. Bringing in a faimly of 5 can bring out the worst and best of me. Yesterday's blog was a reality check ..... This blog was designed to follow myself through this experience despite how hard sometimes it will get or seem.
The last couple of weeks have been very hard. Today it was like God had enough of my temper tantrums. So He gently paddled my backsides with the truth of where I was and what I was doing.
#1) I am NOT in a Sprint but I am in a Marathon! Sprint's aren't for endurance racing, They are for speed. A Marathon is for endurance, to train the body and mind to overcome obstacles and to work together for the good of the race. I do good with fast speedy situations that are done and over with quickly. This particular Marathon I am in now is to train my mind and body to ignore "SELF" and stop wanting my own way all the time.
#2) "Ms. D" accused me of "LISTS" ... who me? NEVER!! ..... Yep .... I had a "LIST" going and I was on a self righteous roll! ...... Lists are good, don't get me wrong, but for the sake of sanity please let these poor people get accustomed to the first list I handed them. I gave them this list just a month ago. They have 50% of the list down fairly good ... yet i kept bombarding them with more "Do's and Don't".
#3) The Electric plug in strip that was all unhooked came to light .... "Mr. S" had a cup of coffee spilled all over the plug in ..... Bubby threw a ball and knocked it over, so Daddy scrambled to unhook it and clean it up.
Had to apologize to "Ms. D" for my unkind behavior tonight ..... and I had to apologize for the "LISTS OF ALL THE DO's & DON'T's" I have been coming up with for all of them. Left church tonight with resolve to get "R" done .... arrived home and got cold feet. Finally @ 10:00PM I told her I needed to talk to her ...... I told her I needed to apologize, she was right about the lists and I was being selfish acting. ...... I still have one more apology to go to "Mr. S" when he gets home. I went to his work Friday night and complained to him to ......and placed a heavier burden on him to carry around all evening. I know he was about in tears when I left. I felt sorry for him but drove off feeling "self-righteous and right" ....... whew I can get ugly!!!
Attending church & evening bible study for me is sometimes a trip to the "Healing Ward" for sinners. It's like group therapy only it's free. It's like going to Confession, only everyone else is there in the same room doing the same.
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