You have to ask the correct question to get the right answer! ...... I frequently run into people who need help .... help with processing through issues, problems, and plethora of other things that sometimes require us asking questions. .... Have you ever been given a series of questions that barely make sense to you? ...... and you'd like to rewrite the questions so they are more in line with "why you think your answering them"? In my job I daily answer multiple questions from a multitude of people. Some of the questions i am ask is directions or the "location" where we are ...... Recently someone from out of our area called and wanted to know where we were located, I had observed the area code from who knows where and the Caller ID said it was a cell phone, I ask if they were familiar with our area ..... a simple question on my part ...... My son acquired a cell phone when he lived out of state, they still have kept the same number .... so now a days you really never know where someone is physically ..... The caller became a bit defensive and answered "NO!" ..... I began to explain we are within a short reasonable distance from our interstate .... I was planning on giving them directions and they became upset and hung up! ..... I sat and thought on the questions we ask and the answers we give ..... How often have you became involved in a "contest" of words simply because your question or answer was misunderstood? ......... Something to think on!
       I have often been ask when I help others out ... "How did you do that?" (after I have been able to help them resolve their issues or problems by simply asking a few well asked questions) My Dad use to tell me you already have the "NO" answer unless you ask questions ...... So when I talk to people first off I am not intimidated, because if I don't ask I already have the "NO" answer anyway ..... So I frequently approach a situation planning on a "NO" so anything better then "NO" is good. It makes a difference with my voice inflections and my responses to sometimes less then pleasant interactions with others. Secondly I have learned to never BEG! ..... When I go into a "question" to retrieve an answer I only ask once. If I perceive it is not correctly understood I try another question that could possibly obtain similar results. Begging makes you sound desperate and often causes your voice to whine ......
And thirdly Accept the answer the other party gives you, ..... asking for an explanation if the answer is "NO" is OK. It is not wrong to want an explanation. But approach it without "Whine" and talk intelligently and make sure you thank the person for their honesty and input despite their answer.