Emotional Wounds ... The Healing Process chp 3

(A re-visit from Emotional Wounds chp 2) .....  February 21st 2015  @ 1:01PM … Hubby went in the laundry room to get the garbage to empty and ask me why the washer was humming …… YIKS!! … SIGH!! …. humming?? I hadn’t ran it since last night about 11:30PM ….. OH SIGH!! …. there it was still @ the beginning of the rinse cycle. Hopefully  ….. sigh …. please Lord not my washer!!  (an update: March 11th 2015 .... my washer was fine! and i am so thankful!!)

.... more from the end of February & the beginning of March ... The snow is too deep for Hubby to shovel anymore ….. we will have to call someone to plow us out ….. he is exhausted & wore out. To be honest I am feeling a bit dragged out too. .....

March 1st 2015 - Sunday  The washer works!! Praise the Lord …..

  MUSINGS ... not sure where to begin ….. “What is a Manager?” …… or …. “How much stress can one person bear before snapping?” ….. or ….. “What the heck am I doing?” ….. or ….. The overall picture of my life?” …… or ….. “This is the way I see things!” ….. (had a brief moment of self pity LOL) 

  AND LIFE GOES ON .....

March 11th 2015 Wednesday - 9:47PM …. Last night it was late … like 11:57PM I was up typing and wide awake… Set up my Weebly website. I was just wondering why Facebook didn’t have a blog site and wahlaa! there it was. Poison Ivy …. & ITCHING!! …. Thanks to the last load of wood we purchased … it is a yearly winter wood thing for me …. sigh! I get up during the night on “autopilot” and chuck wood into the woodstove, then climb back into bed and fall asleep usually before my head hits the pillow. It is amazing where you can touch yourself while you sleep or or where your clothes can get the sap from poison ivy on them …. and it can touch your skin …. I have approxiatemately 6 to7 spots of ITCH … the biggest one on my belly. Winter poison ivy is different then the Spring stuff or summer stuff ….. for that I am thankful, it’s not as potent. Nevertheless it still causes a rash and ITCHING!! I keep being told by oldtimers to eat a small leaf in the Spring ….. I am about to try it ….
    Today was beautiful and sunny all day, a gorgeous day out …. Went into work @ 9:45 AM left @ 4PM …. the joint just below my big toe on my right foot became swelled up sometime during the afternoon … noticed later in the day I was having a hard time walking without a lot of PAIN! …. I had wore my rain boots today due to the amount of water on the ground. I needed to get out and clean up the lawn areas @ work. (I truly need some good insert soles for support in my boots) Was able to get a lot done today ….. Danny (my maintenance person) spent all day outside cleaning the grounds up … it shows and looks awesome!. …. I had to go to the bank and draw out some cash for gas & animal food. bought a 50lb bag of dog food and a 40lb bag of cat food & filled the jeep up … has to last for 2 weeks. Carried the bags in the house …. Lee fixed supper made baked chicken, had peas and small red potatoes. it was yummy. … My back was hurting major too, by the time I came from work! drew a tub of hot water and soaked in it for a bit … I am so thankful I didn’t have to bring in a load of wood tonight …. weather is staying in the 60’s. I was in bed by 7:30PM slept hard for a couple of hours … now i am up again. Took some Turmeric-Cummin for the artheritis. It really helps with the swelling. Lee’s left shoulder is paining him really bad. probably needs a rice sack …. he said heat isn’t doing anything so were trying an ice rice sac. 10:03PM Just iodined my toe joint … My back isn’t so painful to night. Took 2 tylenol earlier. I only have 3 Extra Strength Extended Relief Ibuprophen left saving them if I have a Kitboth (kicked in the back of the head) migraine. Weather changes bring out the aches and pains …. for sure! It is 10:42PM .... tried to get into the Weebly site .... I am not into difficult maneuvers ... and that site has a lot of them built in it .... so here I am @ Google again blogging ..... I love Google! ..... They say stress makes artheritis flare up ..... I have been walking through a lot of stressful situations for sometime .... and my body is starting to feel the effects .... my emotions have been up down up down up and down .... so much lately I feel like i am on a never ending roller coaster ..... SO WHAT HAVE I LEARNED?? ... one of the lessons coming from everything is learning to back paddle .... When I see myself starting down a familiar stream of thought and it starts to look way to familiar like something out of a "horror show" from my past i am quickly back paddling back to the main stream and I get out of there fast!! .... The greatest assets you can get is wisdom from your past mistakes .... especially when you listen to your "still small voice" and obey!!

Emotional Wounds ..... Chp. 2

... What is an EMOTIONAL WOUND? .... This is my opinion .... nothing scienfical .... it is when we overload our emotional senses and a crack forms causing a disruption in the normal flow of thought processes. These cracks can cause other emotions to leak, infiltrate, overflow and invade any other given emotion. You start to feel jumbled and confused, overwhelmed and sometimes helpless against the on slot of emotions. Like a volcano erupting and those emotions that are flowing is like the lava from a volcano ..... they take the path of least resistance ..... reshaping the landscape of your thinking processes and your life. burning up and tearing down thinkings and ideas you were use to; reshaping concepts and motives, into shapes you don't recognize. ..... 

     Wounds inside take longer to heal .... often after major surgery one may find an open gapping wound and a drain tube so you can heal up from inside out ..... This takes quite a bit longer then the normal healing process. .... BUT .... you can't open your body up and put a drain tube into your emotional center ..... 

BUT THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS .....

 .... We plaster a smile on our face and lie ... lie ... lie .... "how are you today Mrs Jones? and you say "fine" ..... liar liar pants on fire .... we crawl into that last tiny space we think we recognize and curl up into a ball and pretend .... and pretend .... and pretend. and if we tell the truth ..... SADLY NO ONE WANTS TO HEAR YOU !!!! .... they change the subject, they pretend they have to go, they ignore you and say something totally unrelated to anything you have said. ..... you feel like that person who is invisible to everyone and your talking to a wall. 

Can a person who professes to know the Lord have a nervous breakdown? ... YES!!

February 21st 2015 …..  Sigh!! ...... coming home from work last night @ about 9:20PM (we had water freeze up in one of our buildings @ the apartment complex still was not running when I left but it's underground ... or so we think) ..... anyway was headed home and my jeep started acting funny .... Thank the Lord I was near my son's place and was able to limp it in there .... felt like the tranny slipppp ssssliiippp slip ..... SIGH! SIGH!! ..... so hubby had to come and get me. Didn't go to bed until after 12:30AM then I was up @ 2:30AM tending the wood stove .... and @ 5:30 AM up again (dogs were pacing) ... SIGH SIGH SIGH ..... only to hear the sound of GUSHING WATER in the kitchen ..... the cold water had busted under my kitchen sink and my kitchen & dining room were flooded!! ..... BUT ... I am thankful! .... for our load of wood we were able to get Thursday night in the back of the truck, which is still there .... (we have weight if we need to get out of here) I am thankful for our old wet/dry vac, .... God's ever present guiding voice even though sometimes I have to actually pay attention .... I was headed toward the interstate last night and it appeared the vehicles were all slowing down ... (this was after I sat @ the red light and heard that still small voice say drive through town .... ) BUT I turned and headed toward the interstate anyway ..... sorry Lord! .... anyway I corrected the error of my travel and went back through town ..... and was able to get to my son's home with my jeep. ..... I am thankful for a pot of COFFEE I made yesterday and didn't get it all drank .... cause a flood & 5:30AM just absolutely needs FAST COFFEE!!  I am thankful for a wood stove because the dry air really speeds up drying time .... and the ceiling fan in the dining room running with the good warm air from the wood stove is helping ... I am thankful for a friend who gave us a bunch of vinyl for our house a while back and I hadn't done the dining room yet .... (it had old vinyl on it) .... well now the plywood floor underneath just was involuntary mopped clean and the old vinyl is now removed ..... guess what I get to do this weekend? ..... put down new vinyl ..... I am also thankful for some extra PVC pipe ..... and hopefully some PVC glue .... may be able to fix the break ... I am thankful for the hole in my kitchen floor where the drain is, cause it took some of the gallons and gallons of water outside ..... praying praying praying ..... My 4 wheeled drive jeep was the "snow plow" we use to make tracks out of here so hubby cold get his truck out. More prayers it is something simpler to fix ...... and more prayers for our health & bodies to hold up .... we both have over extended our backs & bodies in the last week and a half cutting & hauling wood to the house cause we were out & didn't have the funds to buy any. .... Saw the movie "God's Not Dead" last weekend .... in the movie the pastor has a few vehicle set backs to say the least ..... and everyone of them helped him & his friend to head in the right direction at the exact time he needed ..... I'm not sure where or what God has in mind this weekend for me but .... I'm open for my impossibilities to become His possibilities!  

    9:24AM … just went to post this and our internet went down ….. 

  My hubby & I both use a CPAP machine and his is really noisy so I was going to take mine and hook him up to it …. when I switched it out ….. it died!!! … not his,  mine!! … again I am thankful … a friend of mine had given me a couple of her older ones cause mine is old ….. they both work …. but they are not set @ the correct setting so I will have to deal with it and pray I can find a way to get one of them on the correct setting. 9:35AM …. this is too funny … looked up and saw the net was up again …. by the time I went to POST it had already gone down …. I  heated a jug of water on the stove and washed up most of the pots & pans ….. finished tearing up the rest of the vinyl in the Diningroom and sucked up some more water …..    then laid back down @ about 10:30AM to get a bit more sleep. It’s now

 1:01PM … Hubby went in the laundry room to get the garbage to empty and ask me why the washer was humming …… YIKS!! … SIGH!! …. humming?? I hadn’t ran it since last night about 11:30PM ….. OH SIGH!! …. there it was still @ the beginning of the rinse cycle. Hopefully  ….. sigh …. please Lord not my washer!!