October 28th 2013 ..... 0n lunch break ..... Had an awesome weekend @ the training seminar. Learned a lot. Stayed with one of the Trainers and spent a very wonderful relaxing time unwinding at a very gracious home of my hostess.
To back track .... On Thursday arrived home late afternoon to find my house turned upside down by two "rug rats" our 3 & 4 year old .... I stifled my anger and ask ..... WHY!!! ??? with 5 adults home all day the house looks like a tornado hit it. .... I was told that i had no right to expect them to watch the kids all the time ....... say what??!! ..........
How long is too long? .... How much does one have to endure to fulfill "your not moving anymore, your going to live here"? ..... that was my noble statement while this family was fresh and needing help to get on there feet. Now it's back to "same old same old" .... total disrespect for my home, treating me like they are the owners and not my hubby & me. The debris field that they are creating is getting worst. ...... They are getting no where fast ..... it's like they are moving backwards again into the ABYSS ..... where they keep falling into repeatedly .....
I am trying to come up with a game plan that can and will be helpful to them and us .... They have no where to go and couldn't afford it even if they wanted to. ..... And if they go they will more then likely loose their kids ..... possibly forever! ...... lot weighing on my shoulders.
Monday, October 28, 2013
Sunday, October 20, 2013
Mental illness has no time schedule.
Sunday afternoon ..... Oct 20th 2013 ...... Oh what 24 hours can bring ...... All this past week I had tentatively prepared in my mind and verbally with everyone else in the household that we were going to tear out the kitchen .. at least the half our non-working range top & built in oven occupied. I was suppose to have some help ...... well I did ... but .... not with cleaning out stuff & having it ready to tear out on Saturday morning. Mental illness has no time schedule or preference when it comes and goes; not that it ever leaves but certain aspects of certain mental illnesses have their cycles. It also knows no age boundaries. Ms. D has hers. We have had a really great week, she was highly functioning, and upbeat. By Friday morning I had high hopes ...... by Friday night she was spiraling downward into the abyss of dismal thinking and responses. I didn't hold out any hope of her being any help with the kitchen. On Friday night the sweet talking and kind person was vanishing into this foul languages mean person who thinks in terms of warped anger and self imploding/ destructive mentality and this is when we are having good moments with everyone else. The positive side is Miss LL (our 13 yr old) was holding her own and working through her own Explosive Anger Disorder and controlling it somewhat. I was proud of her. All and all you take what you can get when you get it.
I have joined NAMI .... it is the National Alliance on Mental Illness I hope to become a facilitator (a counselor / group leader) in my area when done with all the training I am about to embark upon. .... I know in and of myself I am totally inadequate to help this family group that lives with me. My training so far has consisted of the school of LIFE'S EXPERIENCES! That is all I know is what I have learned through daily living, working, associating with, dealing with various interactions with others who have emotional and mental issues.
All said and done ..... we (as in Mr SL, Mr. C and myself) tore out our kitchen, range top, built in oven, counter top, & what was left of the cabinets. My hubby helped here and there where he could. My plan was to wire in a new stove receptacle for the stove that was in the garage to plug into. That was the plan ...... but here is the actual reality ...... We found that there was aluminum wire from the built in oven to the wall. We had to go to town and buy some copper wire to wire in the receptacle for the stove. by the time we had this done it was late afternoon. That's when we flipped the breakers and BANG! all the electric went out ....... so now here is 9 of us & no electric. ....... Well we got some of it working ..... about 1/2 the house. We had to take the microwave into the laundry room, run extension cords from the bathroom ..... and call an electrician! ...... God bless our electrician friend! they came out this morning (Sunday) ...... Our main breaker outisde is almost fried. We are hoping to get it fixed by Thursday or Friday. That's when we have made plans to have our elecrician friends back. .......... By then we should be able to have the parts we need & the electric company here to shut off the electric to the place.
I have joined NAMI .... it is the National Alliance on Mental Illness I hope to become a facilitator (a counselor / group leader) in my area when done with all the training I am about to embark upon. .... I know in and of myself I am totally inadequate to help this family group that lives with me. My training so far has consisted of the school of LIFE'S EXPERIENCES! That is all I know is what I have learned through daily living, working, associating with, dealing with various interactions with others who have emotional and mental issues.
All said and done ..... we (as in Mr SL, Mr. C and myself) tore out our kitchen, range top, built in oven, counter top, & what was left of the cabinets. My hubby helped here and there where he could. My plan was to wire in a new stove receptacle for the stove that was in the garage to plug into. That was the plan ...... but here is the actual reality ...... We found that there was aluminum wire from the built in oven to the wall. We had to go to town and buy some copper wire to wire in the receptacle for the stove. by the time we had this done it was late afternoon. That's when we flipped the breakers and BANG! all the electric went out ....... so now here is 9 of us & no electric. ....... Well we got some of it working ..... about 1/2 the house. We had to take the microwave into the laundry room, run extension cords from the bathroom ..... and call an electrician! ...... God bless our electrician friend! they came out this morning (Sunday) ...... Our main breaker outisde is almost fried. We are hoping to get it fixed by Thursday or Friday. That's when we have made plans to have our elecrician friends back. .......... By then we should be able to have the parts we need & the electric company here to shut off the electric to the place.
Saturday, October 19, 2013
A Bit Crazy Suddenly ...
Oct 5th 2013 I have tried to think of several new names for this blog ..... like the "Incredible Crazy Journey" .... or maybe "Out of My Mind and Loving It" which sounds way to mushy .... or "Living in an Insane Asylum" which would sometimes be a bit more accurate .... but .... not always true ... we do have some incredibly awesome good moments .... (but I'm sure they do in those places where the mentally ill reside too ......) Trying to be politically correct here .... LOL.
Last Sunday was my birthday .... fairly nice and comfy ... only two major upheavals from the 13 year old Miss LL .... one on Saturday and one on Sunday. Instead of her "Out of Controls" at night she now has with a med change switched to mornings Oh hurrah hurrah!!@! .....
This past week we kind of went from 8 of us now to 9 of us ...... A long time ago I ask God to quit sending me stray animals ....... I was Pet Food Poor!! ...... So now I get stray people ..... LOL.
A man was dropped off at my office ..... it was someone I knew .... he was about the first person I actually got to know when we moved to Kentucky 20 years ago. I met him @ the library. Anyway Chuck had been living with some people we knew, they are a lot like us, they took in every stray animal and homeless human in the county ..... Chuck was one of them. They (including Chuck) lost everything in a house fire about 2 weeks ago, thus we took in Chuck. ...... He just about has no one. His daughter died a couple of years ago from a grand mall seizure, she was in her early 30's and his mom is in a nursing home. He stayed at the nursing home until we took him in.
October 17th 2013 ..... Been awhile since I posted .... Chuck has been with us for about 3 weeks now, SIGH!! ..... he is really a nice person but lives in this imaginary world. He has no income and not a lot of oomph to find work. He excels at watching documentaries, westerns, and any other video's that catches his eye, he also loves to be on our computer all day searching for "LOST TREASURES & where to "Gold prospect", and where to hunt for "Bigfoot" ......... Chuck is a mid "fifty-ish child" who was VERY CLOSE to his mama and very doted on by her. Nevertheless ...... he's not with mama anymore and yesterday he found out that I can get ornery when I come home and find he'd been on the computer all day and nothing was done!! (he was home alone all day) Mr. S & Ms. D took Missy LL to try and get her admitted into a hospital for some help ...... I had Bubby and Miss K had Pixie. So I took some time to cool off a bit then ask him to please DO SOMETHING!! ....... so .... I got my floors swept & my dishes done.
Last Sunday was my birthday .... fairly nice and comfy ... only two major upheavals from the 13 year old Miss LL .... one on Saturday and one on Sunday. Instead of her "Out of Controls" at night she now has with a med change switched to mornings Oh hurrah hurrah!!@! .....
This past week we kind of went from 8 of us now to 9 of us ...... A long time ago I ask God to quit sending me stray animals ....... I was Pet Food Poor!! ...... So now I get stray people ..... LOL.
A man was dropped off at my office ..... it was someone I knew .... he was about the first person I actually got to know when we moved to Kentucky 20 years ago. I met him @ the library. Anyway Chuck had been living with some people we knew, they are a lot like us, they took in every stray animal and homeless human in the county ..... Chuck was one of them. They (including Chuck) lost everything in a house fire about 2 weeks ago, thus we took in Chuck. ...... He just about has no one. His daughter died a couple of years ago from a grand mall seizure, she was in her early 30's and his mom is in a nursing home. He stayed at the nursing home until we took him in.
October 17th 2013 ..... Been awhile since I posted .... Chuck has been with us for about 3 weeks now, SIGH!! ..... he is really a nice person but lives in this imaginary world. He has no income and not a lot of oomph to find work. He excels at watching documentaries, westerns, and any other video's that catches his eye, he also loves to be on our computer all day searching for "LOST TREASURES & where to "Gold prospect", and where to hunt for "Bigfoot" ......... Chuck is a mid "fifty-ish child" who was VERY CLOSE to his mama and very doted on by her. Nevertheless ...... he's not with mama anymore and yesterday he found out that I can get ornery when I come home and find he'd been on the computer all day and nothing was done!! (he was home alone all day) Mr. S & Ms. D took Missy LL to try and get her admitted into a hospital for some help ...... I had Bubby and Miss K had Pixie. So I took some time to cool off a bit then ask him to please DO SOMETHING!! ....... so .... I got my floors swept & my dishes done.
Knee Jerk Reactions
I was writing in my journal this morning ..... and reading a devotional book I read everyday. It was giving some instructons how to improve one's spiritual walk basically. As I journaled (wrote in my book) I penned the words "Knee Jerk Reaction" I say it often but never took time to really think about wht I said. This morning it hit me !! ....... this is when the doctor takes his or her, as in my case and taps your knee and your lower leg kicks out. Often "Knee Jerk Reactions" in our life aren't from large things hitting us up side the head but from small nudges and taps below the "knees" so to speak that create a instant responce from us. ...........
I began to think about those "things and situations" that cause these kind of reactions and what makes me respond the way I do? ....................
#1) To have a "KJR" (Knee Jerk Reaction) first of all you need to have been programmed with the idea or ideal how to react then you need to be programmed with a reaction.
#2) It has become a naturally imbedded response to certain given situations and happenings.
For me ..... as I began to explore these particular mentalities I possess that cause these reactions, it was like a snowball rolling down a mountain side to the deepest valley below.
One of the "KJR's" I have is "Mis-Trust" in certain people with in the parameters of certain situations. One particlar situation that occured yesterday was our computer was "messed with". I recieved a call from a very distraught hubby late in the afternoon when he arrived home to find he couldn't access his email, Facebook or his game. He tried to discribe what was going on but to be honest all I "heard" was it was seriously messed up!! I was "certain who was responsible" so therefore began to build on this "KJR" to what I assumed was the "WHO & the WHY!" ...... From the point of informaton over the phone to when I actually arrived home was several hours. That was several hours of IMAGINATION running rampant with possibilities .......
Arriving home I made some verbal inquiries ( and accusations) about who was home all day.... I found out who I THOUGHT was here all day unsupervised wasn't. That threw the first kink into my "KJR" ..... and I must say it slowed my "KJR" down considerably. The second piece of info was .... who was on it, our 13 yr old. She doesn't have the general abilities to screw it up on purpose. So another kink went into my "KJR" I was already on a roll and being a bit loud and "yelly" in the process...... Then I actually came into the computer room to have a look at the computer ..... I must say it was everything my hubby discribed .......After considering it for a bit, I decided to "LOGGED OUT" ....... that's when I discovered that "the someone (our 13 yr old) " who was already hitting her Explosive Anger Disorder LEVELS from my "KJR" when I got home ..... was the one who more then likely was responsible. .......... and more then likely she was gearing up because she knew she was responsible. .......... That's when I realized my KJR was WRONG! ( as most of the 90% of them are) "KJR's" are mostly ASSUMING THINGS before all the facts are in, which can really mess things up when you find out the REAL FACTS and they aren't even close to the "KJR" It leaves a basic mess for the person who is owner of the "KJR" to sort it out, fix it and clean up the problem the "KJR" caused!
OK so here's what happen ...... years ago when we had custody of our 16 year old grandson we gave him his own "LOG IN" site for our computer this was so we could set up PARENTAL CONTROLS on his site and then we could have our own stuff without him accessing our side. He liked to do things on the computer when angry. So this kept our stuff safe (like not deleted or worst). Anyway he ended up having to be in a special foster home for out of control kids because we couldn't deal with his ANGER, RUNNING AWAY, STEALING and DRUG DEALING any longer. After he left we didn't have need to access it and so it was left alone and passwords were forgotten ....... UNTIL YESTERDAY ..... when Miss LL typed in a password she randomly found in our "book of information" and it ACTUALLY WAS THE PASSWORD! ........ so what we thought was bad turned out to be good ..... and now after her & I doing some in depth discussions she has her own side to the computer she can access .... with PARENTAL CONTROLS intact.
I began to think about those "things and situations" that cause these kind of reactions and what makes me respond the way I do? ....................
#1) To have a "KJR" (Knee Jerk Reaction) first of all you need to have been programmed with the idea or ideal how to react then you need to be programmed with a reaction.
#2) It has become a naturally imbedded response to certain given situations and happenings.
For me ..... as I began to explore these particular mentalities I possess that cause these reactions, it was like a snowball rolling down a mountain side to the deepest valley below.
One of the "KJR's" I have is "Mis-Trust" in certain people with in the parameters of certain situations. One particlar situation that occured yesterday was our computer was "messed with". I recieved a call from a very distraught hubby late in the afternoon when he arrived home to find he couldn't access his email, Facebook or his game. He tried to discribe what was going on but to be honest all I "heard" was it was seriously messed up!! I was "certain who was responsible" so therefore began to build on this "KJR" to what I assumed was the "WHO & the WHY!" ...... From the point of informaton over the phone to when I actually arrived home was several hours. That was several hours of IMAGINATION running rampant with possibilities .......
Arriving home I made some verbal inquiries ( and accusations) about who was home all day.... I found out who I THOUGHT was here all day unsupervised wasn't. That threw the first kink into my "KJR" ..... and I must say it slowed my "KJR" down considerably. The second piece of info was .... who was on it, our 13 yr old. She doesn't have the general abilities to screw it up on purpose. So another kink went into my "KJR" I was already on a roll and being a bit loud and "yelly" in the process...... Then I actually came into the computer room to have a look at the computer ..... I must say it was everything my hubby discribed .......After considering it for a bit, I decided to "LOGGED OUT" ....... that's when I discovered that "the someone (our 13 yr old) " who was already hitting her Explosive Anger Disorder LEVELS from my "KJR" when I got home ..... was the one who more then likely was responsible. .......... and more then likely she was gearing up because she knew she was responsible. .......... That's when I realized my KJR was WRONG! ( as most of the 90% of them are) "KJR's" are mostly ASSUMING THINGS before all the facts are in, which can really mess things up when you find out the REAL FACTS and they aren't even close to the "KJR" It leaves a basic mess for the person who is owner of the "KJR" to sort it out, fix it and clean up the problem the "KJR" caused!
OK so here's what happen ...... years ago when we had custody of our 16 year old grandson we gave him his own "LOG IN" site for our computer this was so we could set up PARENTAL CONTROLS on his site and then we could have our own stuff without him accessing our side. He liked to do things on the computer when angry. So this kept our stuff safe (like not deleted or worst). Anyway he ended up having to be in a special foster home for out of control kids because we couldn't deal with his ANGER, RUNNING AWAY, STEALING and DRUG DEALING any longer. After he left we didn't have need to access it and so it was left alone and passwords were forgotten ....... UNTIL YESTERDAY ..... when Miss LL typed in a password she randomly found in our "book of information" and it ACTUALLY WAS THE PASSWORD! ........ so what we thought was bad turned out to be good ..... and now after her & I doing some in depth discussions she has her own side to the computer she can access .... with PARENTAL CONTROLS intact.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)