One thing I have learned from the turtle is they are ... V E R Y .... S L O W ..... , yet they are determined and consistent. They carry their own dwelling with them at all times. They stop often and retreat. ... And some of them get ran over on the road. I see them as having a "Do or Die" mentality. They lay their eggs then leave them to fend for themselves @ birth. On the other hand a Rabbit can run fast, but can also die of heart failure from fright. They make a lot of noise when captured, they can bite, but ultimately have no other defenses. I like the turtle.
There use to be a TV show on called The Carol Burnett Show, I loved that show ..... especially when her and Tim Conway did "the old couple" ..... I would crack up with Tim, shuffling along with his wobbly cane ..... Ya, know?! .... he's not so funny any more ..... I shuffle a lot, mostly in the morning when I wake up and my body is still protesting the action of crawling out of bed. Then sometimes after I have had some heavy manual labor to do .... afterwards I sit down and "seize - up" ... then I shuffle a bit .... starting up is like a model A Ford starting up.
I have always been a "sprinter" start fast, run like crazy get "r" gone ..... I would say I am not a sprinter any longer, but I am not sure if i am exactly a marathon runner either. That's why I like "The Turtle & the Rabbit story" ..... I race now a day more like the turtle.
The most difficult issues with being older, is my memory ..... Sprinting got you to the finish line with your ideas, ideals and motives still in tact and you could process them thoughts and start the next sprint in your life. ...... The disadvantages of "Turtle Racing" is you may start out with "WHY" your doing what your doing and an hour later wake up from a snooze and totally forget the "WHY" of your adventure and just proceed with what ever happens next. ..... It can be a fairly stress free avenue to travel down as long as you remember to not stress over what you have forgotten .... that is if you remember that YOU HAVE SOMETHING TO STRESS OVER ...... I have decided that I am not going to stress over what i can't remember, and what I can remember I have determined that given a short time I can chalk it up to "FORGOTTEN" anyway so then it falls into "not stressing over what you have forgotten" category. Life is SWEET!!!
Friday, August 30, 2013
Wednesday, August 28, 2013
"Safe haven" for animals & people
Headed to work yesterday morning and found a small dog / puppy that had been dropped. It appears to be a Rat Terrier. I had Ms. D with me & kids, Ms. D got out and picked it up. ... It was love at first sight! ..... He received a bath, food and a soft bed, and my "Family of 5" named him Tesla. On my way home last night there were 4 tiny kittens about 5 to 6 weeks old in the road. I live out in the country and often people drop their animals on our road. I stopped and rescued 2 and a car behind me took two. This morning our local chapter of "ANIMAL SUPPORT" stopped by and took the two kittens. Happy endings for 5 helpless fur babies. Sadly every year thousands more don't have make it to a happy ending because of irresponsible humans who find it easier to misuse, torture and abandon these helpless creatures then do what is right and spay or neuter their animals or find them a place where it is safe.!
Sometimes when you are a compassionate person it can be a challenge in it's self to maintain your sanity in a world that sometimes seems to have gone crazy. Every day I am confronted with NEEDS.
For those of you who believe in God, have you ever thought about how God feels watching this human race He created, and the messes us humans create, cause and suffer with? Not counting the animals we allow to suffer and be misused that He also created? I spent years wearing myself out physically and mentally trying to be there for everyone and as many animals as possible. One day I read a statement that said "STOP TRYING TO PLAY GOD!" .... it spoke to me .... it rattled me a bit, but I realized that's exactly what I was trying to do without even thinking about it. Running around trying to fixed everyone and everything and make it all better. Do I have a solution to being like this? NOPE! ..... I do spend a lot more time bringing a lot more of all the needs I am aware of to God and leaving them there ..... and I also find at times myself taking some of them back and trying to "get over helpful" again. ......For those who don't have my belief system , .... WELL ..... your on your own .... good luck and may the force be with you!
I have found if I take care of myself, tune into my own physical, mental and emotional capacities and abilities and LISTEN to the Holy Spirit my stress level is A LOT LESS! ..... All the issues and situations in life that can cause us to shake, rattle and roll in the emotional department works better with an internal "shock absorber" installed. I like to call the Holy Spirit by lots of names & descriptions. Again I know some folks don't have this particular belief system but I do, and that's Ok ..... My own personal take on this awesome being / presence is that because I chose to ask God for forgiveness for my sins (that's doing what is wrong even when I know what is right) and simply accept what Jesus did on the cross for me, the Holy Spirit has come to dwell in me. Nothing more nothing less. He is my coping mechanism that triggers inner peace, a calm in the midst of a raging storm, my anchor when all life is raging uncontrolled about me. and someone to talk to that I trust when I am lonely and unsure of everything and everyone.
Sometimes when you are a compassionate person it can be a challenge in it's self to maintain your sanity in a world that sometimes seems to have gone crazy. Every day I am confronted with NEEDS.
For those of you who believe in God, have you ever thought about how God feels watching this human race He created, and the messes us humans create, cause and suffer with? Not counting the animals we allow to suffer and be misused that He also created? I spent years wearing myself out physically and mentally trying to be there for everyone and as many animals as possible. One day I read a statement that said "STOP TRYING TO PLAY GOD!" .... it spoke to me .... it rattled me a bit, but I realized that's exactly what I was trying to do without even thinking about it. Running around trying to fixed everyone and everything and make it all better. Do I have a solution to being like this? NOPE! ..... I do spend a lot more time bringing a lot more of all the needs I am aware of to God and leaving them there ..... and I also find at times myself taking some of them back and trying to "get over helpful" again. ......For those who don't have my belief system , .... WELL ..... your on your own .... good luck and may the force be with you!
I have found if I take care of myself, tune into my own physical, mental and emotional capacities and abilities and LISTEN to the Holy Spirit my stress level is A LOT LESS! ..... All the issues and situations in life that can cause us to shake, rattle and roll in the emotional department works better with an internal "shock absorber" installed. I like to call the Holy Spirit by lots of names & descriptions. Again I know some folks don't have this particular belief system but I do, and that's Ok ..... My own personal take on this awesome being / presence is that because I chose to ask God for forgiveness for my sins (that's doing what is wrong even when I know what is right) and simply accept what Jesus did on the cross for me, the Holy Spirit has come to dwell in me. Nothing more nothing less. He is my coping mechanism that triggers inner peace, a calm in the midst of a raging storm, my anchor when all life is raging uncontrolled about me. and someone to talk to that I trust when I am lonely and unsure of everything and everyone.
Sunday, August 25, 2013
Tough Love and Conqueoring Memory Lane
Tough love is NOT sometime I like to practice, use or apply or be applied to me! ..... BUT ...... sometimes it is the only solution when all else has failed. Through temper tantrums .... mine and others, through stubborn pride and ulterior motives, through junk and clutter we have come. ... Actually we are wading through and it isn't quite as deep as it use to be.
This morning at Sunday school we talked about our memories of how we view things. Especially our views on the afterlife and Heaven that have been instilled in us from small children. Our teacher is battling breast cancer that has come and gone over the last 13 years, and now has taken up residence in her bones. She also was one of the people who endeared themselves to me when I started to attend this small country church. Lots of tears today accompanied by sad & happy memories.
When tough love meets memory lane it can look like a war zone in the emotional department. I think the hardest thing we have to do as humans is whether, we as adults or children have to decide how something is going to effect us when it comes to memories. My "Blessings of 5" Ms. D & I have been walking through some memory areas and talking about what is productive and what isn't. I also have been talking to & counseling a friend of mine on a regular basis, we also are talking about memories and what affects us and how it effects us. ("AFFECT" means to influence & "EFFECT" means: whatever is produced by a cause (or influence) ) ..... Comments parents make have long .... sometimes, eternal effects on their children. Ms. D, Miss B and myself all have varying effects from our parents commenting on our physical features & abilities. Ms. D battles a "slavery mentality" where she feels she has to comply with anything requested of her or she's not worthy in her own mind, Miss B feels she was always compared to a sibling and told if she didn't adhere to certain "female decorations" she was not pretty. Today she feels she is ugly and in all actuality she is gorgeously beautiful and looks like one of the super models that is famous. For myself .... I have childhood memories of being told my eyes, mouth and nose were too big for my face ..... until I discovered a clothing catalog with a little girl who resembled me and I didn't believe my mother after that. Sadly when a child calls into question a parent's truthfulness it is like a slow spreading cancer, it eventually affects every area of your thinking and life and alters your ability to trust others. A parent's truthfulness is not something a child goes to their parent and says "you lied to me, lets discuss it." Sometimes the child is very young and doesn't even comprehend the actual lie. Sometimes it occurs in your teens and one day you realize you don't believe or trust your parent's judgements.
Having someone else apply tough love to you is one thing but when you have to apply tough love to your memories in your own life and start conscientiously making some hard choices in your life for yourself it can become almost a 8.0 earthquake in the emotional department. For Ms D, she is having to learn to say "NO" to everyone in some areas of their every day lives, her other half, and her children. This causes lots of disturbances within our walls at times. Saying "NO" for her is like swimming against the "normal current" in her river of life. Then Miss B is having to learn to say YES to herself and no to others, which again is causng some harsh decisions on her part to be made. She has had to start taking care of herself, something she isn't use to. For me it is a trust thing ..... when you grow up with a basic distrust of others, at some point this "cancerous thinking" robs you of also trusting yourself. This mentality can cause you to do a lot of second guessing things when in reality your first instinct was correct. This also effects your relationship with God and makes listening to your heart when He speaks to you a very difficult journey. It also has effected my ability to listen to myself when I need to make some good judgement calls in the area of getting rid of my teasures and junk. The good news is we are all wading through these emotional waters and are supporting each other to go on, and we are making progress!
This morning at Sunday school we talked about our memories of how we view things. Especially our views on the afterlife and Heaven that have been instilled in us from small children. Our teacher is battling breast cancer that has come and gone over the last 13 years, and now has taken up residence in her bones. She also was one of the people who endeared themselves to me when I started to attend this small country church. Lots of tears today accompanied by sad & happy memories.
When tough love meets memory lane it can look like a war zone in the emotional department. I think the hardest thing we have to do as humans is whether, we as adults or children have to decide how something is going to effect us when it comes to memories. My "Blessings of 5" Ms. D & I have been walking through some memory areas and talking about what is productive and what isn't. I also have been talking to & counseling a friend of mine on a regular basis, we also are talking about memories and what affects us and how it effects us. ("AFFECT" means to influence & "EFFECT" means: whatever is produced by a cause (or influence) ) ..... Comments parents make have long .... sometimes, eternal effects on their children. Ms. D, Miss B and myself all have varying effects from our parents commenting on our physical features & abilities. Ms. D battles a "slavery mentality" where she feels she has to comply with anything requested of her or she's not worthy in her own mind, Miss B feels she was always compared to a sibling and told if she didn't adhere to certain "female decorations" she was not pretty. Today she feels she is ugly and in all actuality she is gorgeously beautiful and looks like one of the super models that is famous. For myself .... I have childhood memories of being told my eyes, mouth and nose were too big for my face ..... until I discovered a clothing catalog with a little girl who resembled me and I didn't believe my mother after that. Sadly when a child calls into question a parent's truthfulness it is like a slow spreading cancer, it eventually affects every area of your thinking and life and alters your ability to trust others. A parent's truthfulness is not something a child goes to their parent and says "you lied to me, lets discuss it." Sometimes the child is very young and doesn't even comprehend the actual lie. Sometimes it occurs in your teens and one day you realize you don't believe or trust your parent's judgements.
Having someone else apply tough love to you is one thing but when you have to apply tough love to your memories in your own life and start conscientiously making some hard choices in your life for yourself it can become almost a 8.0 earthquake in the emotional department. For Ms D, she is having to learn to say "NO" to everyone in some areas of their every day lives, her other half, and her children. This causes lots of disturbances within our walls at times. Saying "NO" for her is like swimming against the "normal current" in her river of life. Then Miss B is having to learn to say YES to herself and no to others, which again is causng some harsh decisions on her part to be made. She has had to start taking care of herself, something she isn't use to. For me it is a trust thing ..... when you grow up with a basic distrust of others, at some point this "cancerous thinking" robs you of also trusting yourself. This mentality can cause you to do a lot of second guessing things when in reality your first instinct was correct. This also effects your relationship with God and makes listening to your heart when He speaks to you a very difficult journey. It also has effected my ability to listen to myself when I need to make some good judgement calls in the area of getting rid of my teasures and junk. The good news is we are all wading through these emotional waters and are supporting each other to go on, and we are making progress!
Saturday, August 24, 2013
Just doing what you have to .....
I sit here this morning @ 9:37 AM. I have already been to town and picked up parts for the "boy's brakes. "the boy is "Mr. S" ..... Last year in September Mr. S had a job abut 30 miles away and was riding with an older man who constantly fell asleep at the wheel. Not only Mr. S rode with him but a woman who is a sister to a mentally challenged man I help take care of. Her name is Shirley. Shirley and I talk frequently anyway and she voiced her fears of this man having a bad crash with her and "Mr. S" in the vehicle.
They all worked 3rd shift. Mr.S didn't have a vehicle and Shirley did but it wasn't road worthy to drive 30 miles one way every night. Thus I ended up loaning my little 1995 GMC pick-up to Mr. S and I began to drive my hubby's jeep. We really didn't want to sell the GMC. We had just put a "new" motor and tranny in it to the tune of $750.00. This was just for the motor and tranny from a local junk yard. Labor was another $550.00 for install, only because family did the work. ...... Forward to today .... Mr S paid us $500.00 with his income tax return for the truck. Hubby really wanted at least $800.00. The truck is still in our name.
Part of us are "under the weather" .... allergies combined with flu like symptoms have made today already a long looking haul. For me, I feel like my head is somewhere in the next county and feel kinda achy all over. I will need to be available to help with the truck if need be. Then add the usual household weekend cleaning and prep for Monday again and I already feel overwhelmed a bit.
Our "resident "13" year old was informed she was to go to her "dad's" ..... she was angry about it and didn't want to go. (she went last weekend) I told her I am going to have to override her mother decision this time ...... I need her here to watch the two younger kids for us. ( It frequently falls on my shoulders on weekends despite I work all week and only see home for approx. 2to 3 hours a day outside of sleeping.) ...... This weekend I can't.
Sometimes in life I do what I have to, don't make excuses for what I can't and tell everyone "TO JUST DEAL WITH IT!" ...... I have been counseling a friend of mine who has a "Martyr Syndrome" works two jobs @ 7 days a week, and is raising 3 kids PLUS trying to please her "other half" who is an inconsiderate, spoiled rotten oaf who thinks she should be at his every "text and call" He feels he should be able to go out drinking and she should wake up at whatever hour to go pick his sorry self up ..... I told her "do what she has to, don't make excuses for what she can't and tell everyone "TO JUST DEAL WITH IT!" ...... I saw her this morning in my rounds downtown. She truned off phone last night and slept! Someone else had to pick him up. I told her "THAT"S THE WAY TO GO!!" ..... she felt proud of herself! ...... Sometimes a person has to stand up for themselves, put their foot down and just say NO for their own health and sanity.
They all worked 3rd shift. Mr.S didn't have a vehicle and Shirley did but it wasn't road worthy to drive 30 miles one way every night. Thus I ended up loaning my little 1995 GMC pick-up to Mr. S and I began to drive my hubby's jeep. We really didn't want to sell the GMC. We had just put a "new" motor and tranny in it to the tune of $750.00. This was just for the motor and tranny from a local junk yard. Labor was another $550.00 for install, only because family did the work. ...... Forward to today .... Mr S paid us $500.00 with his income tax return for the truck. Hubby really wanted at least $800.00. The truck is still in our name.
Part of us are "under the weather" .... allergies combined with flu like symptoms have made today already a long looking haul. For me, I feel like my head is somewhere in the next county and feel kinda achy all over. I will need to be available to help with the truck if need be. Then add the usual household weekend cleaning and prep for Monday again and I already feel overwhelmed a bit.
Our "resident "13" year old was informed she was to go to her "dad's" ..... she was angry about it and didn't want to go. (she went last weekend) I told her I am going to have to override her mother decision this time ...... I need her here to watch the two younger kids for us. ( It frequently falls on my shoulders on weekends despite I work all week and only see home for approx. 2to 3 hours a day outside of sleeping.) ...... This weekend I can't.
Sometimes in life I do what I have to, don't make excuses for what I can't and tell everyone "TO JUST DEAL WITH IT!" ...... I have been counseling a friend of mine who has a "Martyr Syndrome" works two jobs @ 7 days a week, and is raising 3 kids PLUS trying to please her "other half" who is an inconsiderate, spoiled rotten oaf who thinks she should be at his every "text and call" He feels he should be able to go out drinking and she should wake up at whatever hour to go pick his sorry self up ..... I told her "do what she has to, don't make excuses for what she can't and tell everyone "TO JUST DEAL WITH IT!" ...... I saw her this morning in my rounds downtown. She truned off phone last night and slept! Someone else had to pick him up. I told her "THAT"S THE WAY TO GO!!" ..... she felt proud of herself! ...... Sometimes a person has to stand up for themselves, put their foot down and just say NO for their own health and sanity.
Thursday, August 22, 2013
When your inner child arises ....
Some years ago the phrase "INNER CHILD" became a catch all word for those things that we experienced as a child. Some things were minor, some major and some quite traumatic, dramatic or tragic that shaped us, made us who we have become and sadly sometimes have hindered us in our journey in and through adulthood.
Every experience we remember often evolves as we mature, sometimes it evolves from a mole hill to a mountain and sometimes as time passes it shrinks from a mountain to a mole hill. Then there are those memories that seem as alive today as they did years ago .... for some of us those years can be 10, 20, 30 or 50 years ago. Some memories are etched in our minds like it happened yesterday. They affect us every waking moment, some subconsciously and some consciously ..... I am pushing the 50 year mark with some of my memories, These memories are from a child who was maybe 7 or 8 years old. They were etched in my brain by a child who was feeling hurt and angry. These memories still affect me. .............
I hate doing dishes! ..... These memories I am about to share are from 50 some years ago, did they actually happen? Yes, but please remember, they are a child's memories. My mother was very critical where it came to dishes. There was her way and that was it. The very positive side is I am now a stickler about my dishes too (when I do them) . The NEGATIVE SIDE ..... is I hate doing them and it has resulted in a less then clean kitchen for the majority of my adulthood. I can go to someone else's place and do them and love it ..... but my own home? .... UGH!! This is my story .... I had very few playmates, my Dad was the village trash collector, meter reader, and repair guy for what went wrong with the village water works and other various things that were his responsibility. So when I had someone to play with it was a monumental thing in my life. I had made friends with two children, a brother and a sister who lived several blokes away. On the day this memory was formed, developed and made, I had dishes to do. I wanted to play with these two kids so my mother called their mother and arrangements were made for them to come and play for ONE HOUR! ...... What took place is; the dishes I did do were put back in the sink for me to redo because they didn't meet with her approval. ..... When the two kids arrived they had to sit and watch me do dishes, FOR THE WHOLE HOUR! ...... I stood at the sink and they sat at the kitchen table. WHAT AN ETCHING!! ..... as a child, I felt WRONGED. It followed me for years ...... my inability to do dishes at home. If I could have taken my dishes to the neighbors house and washed them, it would have been a much easier hill to climb.
Forward to present, my hubby purchased a dishwasher for me for my 50th birthday HALLELUJAH!!!
and now my "Blessings of 5" live with us and "Ms. D" has taken over the kitchen duties. Dishes presently are a choice for me. Inside of all this I have been dealing with "letting go" of them immature emotions that are triggered when I am confronted with dishes. It is not as easy as it may seem but it is possible.
I wish this was the only emotions and incident that I am dealing with as an adult from my INNER CHILD but a bit sadly it's not ..... then again on a very positive note these things have produced a very independent, well rounded, fairly happy individual with a very practical outlook on life.
Every experience we remember often evolves as we mature, sometimes it evolves from a mole hill to a mountain and sometimes as time passes it shrinks from a mountain to a mole hill. Then there are those memories that seem as alive today as they did years ago .... for some of us those years can be 10, 20, 30 or 50 years ago. Some memories are etched in our minds like it happened yesterday. They affect us every waking moment, some subconsciously and some consciously ..... I am pushing the 50 year mark with some of my memories, These memories are from a child who was maybe 7 or 8 years old. They were etched in my brain by a child who was feeling hurt and angry. These memories still affect me. .............
I hate doing dishes! ..... These memories I am about to share are from 50 some years ago, did they actually happen? Yes, but please remember, they are a child's memories. My mother was very critical where it came to dishes. There was her way and that was it. The very positive side is I am now a stickler about my dishes too (when I do them) . The NEGATIVE SIDE ..... is I hate doing them and it has resulted in a less then clean kitchen for the majority of my adulthood. I can go to someone else's place and do them and love it ..... but my own home? .... UGH!! This is my story .... I had very few playmates, my Dad was the village trash collector, meter reader, and repair guy for what went wrong with the village water works and other various things that were his responsibility. So when I had someone to play with it was a monumental thing in my life. I had made friends with two children, a brother and a sister who lived several blokes away. On the day this memory was formed, developed and made, I had dishes to do. I wanted to play with these two kids so my mother called their mother and arrangements were made for them to come and play for ONE HOUR! ...... What took place is; the dishes I did do were put back in the sink for me to redo because they didn't meet with her approval. ..... When the two kids arrived they had to sit and watch me do dishes, FOR THE WHOLE HOUR! ...... I stood at the sink and they sat at the kitchen table. WHAT AN ETCHING!! ..... as a child, I felt WRONGED. It followed me for years ...... my inability to do dishes at home. If I could have taken my dishes to the neighbors house and washed them, it would have been a much easier hill to climb.
Forward to present, my hubby purchased a dishwasher for me for my 50th birthday HALLELUJAH!!!
and now my "Blessings of 5" live with us and "Ms. D" has taken over the kitchen duties. Dishes presently are a choice for me. Inside of all this I have been dealing with "letting go" of them immature emotions that are triggered when I am confronted with dishes. It is not as easy as it may seem but it is possible.
I wish this was the only emotions and incident that I am dealing with as an adult from my INNER CHILD but a bit sadly it's not ..... then again on a very positive note these things have produced a very independent, well rounded, fairly happy individual with a very practical outlook on life.
Sunday, August 18, 2013
Eating Crow & Some Apologies
Eating crow ..... an expression used when your humbly shown how self centered you are. Bringing in a faimly of 5 can bring out the worst and best of me. Yesterday's blog was a reality check ..... This blog was designed to follow myself through this experience despite how hard sometimes it will get or seem.
The last couple of weeks have been very hard. Today it was like God had enough of my temper tantrums. So He gently paddled my backsides with the truth of where I was and what I was doing.
#1) I am NOT in a Sprint but I am in a Marathon! Sprint's aren't for endurance racing, They are for speed. A Marathon is for endurance, to train the body and mind to overcome obstacles and to work together for the good of the race. I do good with fast speedy situations that are done and over with quickly. This particular Marathon I am in now is to train my mind and body to ignore "SELF" and stop wanting my own way all the time.
#2) "Ms. D" accused me of "LISTS" ... who me? NEVER!! ..... Yep .... I had a "LIST" going and I was on a self righteous roll! ...... Lists are good, don't get me wrong, but for the sake of sanity please let these poor people get accustomed to the first list I handed them. I gave them this list just a month ago. They have 50% of the list down fairly good ... yet i kept bombarding them with more "Do's and Don't".
#3) The Electric plug in strip that was all unhooked came to light .... "Mr. S" had a cup of coffee spilled all over the plug in ..... Bubby threw a ball and knocked it over, so Daddy scrambled to unhook it and clean it up.
Had to apologize to "Ms. D" for my unkind behavior tonight ..... and I had to apologize for the "LISTS OF ALL THE DO's & DON'T's" I have been coming up with for all of them. Left church tonight with resolve to get "R" done .... arrived home and got cold feet. Finally @ 10:00PM I told her I needed to talk to her ...... I told her I needed to apologize, she was right about the lists and I was being selfish acting. ...... I still have one more apology to go to "Mr. S" when he gets home. I went to his work Friday night and complained to him to ......and placed a heavier burden on him to carry around all evening. I know he was about in tears when I left. I felt sorry for him but drove off feeling "self-righteous and right" ....... whew I can get ugly!!!
Attending church & evening bible study for me is sometimes a trip to the "Healing Ward" for sinners. It's like group therapy only it's free. It's like going to Confession, only everyone else is there in the same room doing the same.
The last couple of weeks have been very hard. Today it was like God had enough of my temper tantrums. So He gently paddled my backsides with the truth of where I was and what I was doing.
#1) I am NOT in a Sprint but I am in a Marathon! Sprint's aren't for endurance racing, They are for speed. A Marathon is for endurance, to train the body and mind to overcome obstacles and to work together for the good of the race. I do good with fast speedy situations that are done and over with quickly. This particular Marathon I am in now is to train my mind and body to ignore "SELF" and stop wanting my own way all the time.
#2) "Ms. D" accused me of "LISTS" ... who me? NEVER!! ..... Yep .... I had a "LIST" going and I was on a self righteous roll! ...... Lists are good, don't get me wrong, but for the sake of sanity please let these poor people get accustomed to the first list I handed them. I gave them this list just a month ago. They have 50% of the list down fairly good ... yet i kept bombarding them with more "Do's and Don't".
#3) The Electric plug in strip that was all unhooked came to light .... "Mr. S" had a cup of coffee spilled all over the plug in ..... Bubby threw a ball and knocked it over, so Daddy scrambled to unhook it and clean it up.
Had to apologize to "Ms. D" for my unkind behavior tonight ..... and I had to apologize for the "LISTS OF ALL THE DO's & DON'T's" I have been coming up with for all of them. Left church tonight with resolve to get "R" done .... arrived home and got cold feet. Finally @ 10:00PM I told her I needed to talk to her ...... I told her I needed to apologize, she was right about the lists and I was being selfish acting. ...... I still have one more apology to go to "Mr. S" when he gets home. I went to his work Friday night and complained to him to ......and placed a heavier burden on him to carry around all evening. I know he was about in tears when I left. I felt sorry for him but drove off feeling "self-righteous and right" ....... whew I can get ugly!!!
Attending church & evening bible study for me is sometimes a trip to the "Healing Ward" for sinners. It's like group therapy only it's free. It's like going to Confession, only everyone else is there in the same room doing the same.
Saturday, August 17, 2013
When you question your sanity and endurance, you know your getting on shaky ground in this journey with this family. Last night I have begun to question my ability to "run this marathon" with this family I have graciously allowed to share my home. I actually had to get in my vehicle and leave my own home last night because "Ms. D" had gotten so FOUL!!! I am seaching for some solid ground to stand ON HERE GOD ... AND I NEED HELP!
We have done this co-sharing our home before with this family, .... several times. Only once was one of their exits on good terms. But they had only came to stay for a maximum of 6 to 8 weeks We made it close to 8 weeks when they found a place to move to. This time as usual ..... Miss "D" and her inability to cope with "normal expectations" has hit the fan ...... combined with my inability to cope with a certain level of what i will term "base gross living conditions" and THIS IS MY HOME ..... Years ago when I was in my 40's I could work all week and still whip this house into shape on a weekend with one arm tied behind my back. NOW??!! I feel blessed when I can clean one room in a week. .... and my house has 10 rooms. NOW .... SIGH .... I have 5 people here when Hubby and I are gone (school just started so it is now 4 people ) Messing & fiddling ( I specifically mentioned this .... last night I come home to find the "Electric plug in strip missing that every light in the Living room and Stove room plug into to .... this was an adult!!) , getting into things, leaving things where they don't belong, not picking up after their selves, I feel helpless and not sure how to convey to them I NEED HELP!! and their way of "Drop and let drop where it is living" can not co-exist here with ME!
On July 18th I had posted some things I expected of this family ..... Lets revisit today August 17th where we are ......
#1 POTTY CHAIR KEPT EMPTIED ON A REGULAR BASIS ..... Doing much better! Even the 3 and 4 year old are emptying it. I did have to ask the other day .... Hubby went to use the bathroom and it had been left "used" and was smelling up the bathroom, .... sigh .... still warm summer weather and a hot bathroom with no air flow can take on a life of it's own in the smell department.
#2 Wet, Damp clothes, towels, anything cloth and yes any clothes, towels or cloth that has water on it HUNG UP TO DRY …. NOT THROWN IN LAUNDRY BASKETS ..... About a week ago I finally got tired of constantly reminding them to NOT THROW wet or damp stuff in laundry basket in bathroom, and to hang up damp towels. I removed the laundry basket and ask if the clothes just get put in the laundry room.
☛☛☛ "Ms. Mama D" is accusing me of "SHE IS SICK OF MY ""F- in" LISTS !!!
#3 Dirty dishes removed from DINING table when DONE EATING …. We are still batting about 50% of the time here ..... I'm not home 5 days a week so based on when I am home it is about only half the time.
#4 ALL goo, goop, food stuff …. etc wiped off table when DONE EATING! and table cleaned up .. We are at only about 10% of the time here without me asking to have it cleaned off ...... sitting down at my dining room table has become a sticky gooey affair most the time. Doing something normal like coming home and sitting down to look at the mail or read a newspaper at the table has stopped entirely.
#5 All food that is put in refrig MUST BE IN A COVERED CONTAINER, BAGGIE etc ….. Good job! I'd say we are at 95% of the time.
#6 All prepared food taken care of after eating ….. It is not to be left out over night ….. I do not want any excuses why I have to get up in the morning and try and get coffee & breakfast around pans of food! This is also not too bad ..... We are running at about 25% of the time i am hunting for counter space ...... They are "NIGHT PEOPLE" and we are "DAY" people. I am trying to help them to understand that when you go to bed @ 4 or 5 AM .... PLEASE make sure all you food prep, dishes and fixings are taken care of. I get up @ 5AM and want to fix coffee without battling dishes ..
#7 All good glass coffee mugs are to be left in the house & backyard sitting area ……. second hand shops carry travel mugs cheap for garage & traveling! This is "MR. Dad SL's" totally and he is batting about a 10% ..... I have had one of my good coffee cups busted cause he left it on his vehicle and drove off, I have found them on the lawn, in the garage and everywhere in between. ! Solution is to remove my good coffee mugs .....
#8 I do not feel it is unreasonable to expect ALL MOVIES to be replaced in their own covers after they are watched! ….. AND put back on the shelf instead of piled high in entertainment center Nope not here either ..... but I removed a lot of our movies and boxed them up ..... so the left out movies are less now ..... sigh!! Solution would be to padlock our Entertainment Center !!
#9 I do not feel it is unreasonable to expect to be able to get up in the morning and be able to make coffee and fixed breakfast in a fairly cleaned up kitchen. 15 minutes can do miracles in there!! ( we have a small galley kitchen) I will give this a 75% of the time .... "Ms. Mama D".... is keeping it done but I'm not sure it's with cheerfulness ...... NO ..... it is probably not! but it's getting done.
#10 I do not feel it is unreasonable to expect ALL toys to be cleaned out of tub after the kids bath. I'll give this about a 90% to .... Good job!
Some of the other things I have ask is or as "Ms. Mama D" calls it the "F-in Lists"
...... #1) "Ms D" has been on a foul language kick FOR ABOUT 2 WEKS NOW ..... with bad unkind and hateful words to express herself to everyone including the 3 and 4 year old!! Her favorite is the "F" word ...... spewing it out in a constant stream when something triggers her, which lately is everything! I have ask she not use that word, I find it very gross!" #2) Water jugs .... I have ask that when drawing hot water to the kitchen that they use our empty gallon jugs to draw off water in ..... Our hot water heater is in the back of the house and takes close to one gallon to get hot water to the kitchen. We use to jugs of water to transport water to our animal water containers.(Me and Hubby have been doing this for years) It is a win win situation and we don't waste water which we pay for by the gallon. "Ms.D" informed me she hasn't been, which is obvious because there are no water jugs with anything in them. She says she is doing the dishes in cold water. EXCEPT the dish washer automatically senses cold and kicks on the "WATER HEATER" SIGH!! ...... #3) I installed a bar over my sink long ago to hang up wet dish clothes. I ask that they be RINSED OUT AND HUNG up after use. ... not happening ...... I find them regularly around the kitchen area waded up and in the sink soaked with debris and nasty. (I just take them tothe laundry room) ..... #4) I occasionally have a container with burnables in it ..... I specifically told everyone the BROWN CAN was burnable stuff so don't put "garbage in it" (it also sat outside the kitchen area in our "Wood stove Room"they had to walk into the Wood Stove Room to put the garbage in here .... and we have a trash can in the kitchen hummmm?? ) ..... SIGH!! ...... kind of getting the feeling it is being done on PURPOSE??? I found non-burnable stuff including coffee grounds with filter piled on top of the burnables Hummmm?? I told them they were cleaning it out! OK so this may be ☛☛☛ Request #5 ☚☚☚ ...... and yes they did after about 4 or 5 requests were made over 3 or 4 days. #6) ....... SIGH!!! yep I do have a list ..... there is a stand by the doorway from the Livingroom to the Stove Room, it has become the "sitting area" for cups, bottles - some empty some partially full, soda cans, dishes etc. and there they plie up until I ask them to clean them up ..... (THIS DOESN'T INCLUDE ALL THE OTHER empty or partially drank cans, cups and bottles sitting around the house ...... )
We have done this co-sharing our home before with this family, .... several times. Only once was one of their exits on good terms. But they had only came to stay for a maximum of 6 to 8 weeks We made it close to 8 weeks when they found a place to move to. This time as usual ..... Miss "D" and her inability to cope with "normal expectations" has hit the fan ...... combined with my inability to cope with a certain level of what i will term "base gross living conditions" and THIS IS MY HOME ..... Years ago when I was in my 40's I could work all week and still whip this house into shape on a weekend with one arm tied behind my back. NOW??!! I feel blessed when I can clean one room in a week. .... and my house has 10 rooms. NOW .... SIGH .... I have 5 people here when Hubby and I are gone (school just started so it is now 4 people ) Messing & fiddling ( I specifically mentioned this .... last night I come home to find the "Electric plug in strip missing that every light in the Living room and Stove room plug into to .... this was an adult!!) , getting into things, leaving things where they don't belong, not picking up after their selves, I feel helpless and not sure how to convey to them I NEED HELP!! and their way of "Drop and let drop where it is living" can not co-exist here with ME!
On July 18th I had posted some things I expected of this family ..... Lets revisit today August 17th where we are ......
#1 POTTY CHAIR KEPT EMPTIED ON A REGULAR BASIS ..... Doing much better! Even the 3 and 4 year old are emptying it. I did have to ask the other day .... Hubby went to use the bathroom and it had been left "used" and was smelling up the bathroom, .... sigh .... still warm summer weather and a hot bathroom with no air flow can take on a life of it's own in the smell department.
#2 Wet, Damp clothes, towels, anything cloth and yes any clothes, towels or cloth that has water on it HUNG UP TO DRY …. NOT THROWN IN LAUNDRY BASKETS ..... About a week ago I finally got tired of constantly reminding them to NOT THROW wet or damp stuff in laundry basket in bathroom, and to hang up damp towels. I removed the laundry basket and ask if the clothes just get put in the laundry room.
☛☛☛ "Ms. Mama D" is accusing me of "SHE IS SICK OF MY ""F- in" LISTS !!!
#3 Dirty dishes removed from DINING table when DONE EATING …. We are still batting about 50% of the time here ..... I'm not home 5 days a week so based on when I am home it is about only half the time.
#4 ALL goo, goop, food stuff …. etc wiped off table when DONE EATING! and table cleaned up .. We are at only about 10% of the time here without me asking to have it cleaned off ...... sitting down at my dining room table has become a sticky gooey affair most the time. Doing something normal like coming home and sitting down to look at the mail or read a newspaper at the table has stopped entirely.
#5 All food that is put in refrig MUST BE IN A COVERED CONTAINER, BAGGIE etc ….. Good job! I'd say we are at 95% of the time.
#6 All prepared food taken care of after eating ….. It is not to be left out over night ….. I do not want any excuses why I have to get up in the morning and try and get coffee & breakfast around pans of food! This is also not too bad ..... We are running at about 25% of the time i am hunting for counter space ...... They are "NIGHT PEOPLE" and we are "DAY" people. I am trying to help them to understand that when you go to bed @ 4 or 5 AM .... PLEASE make sure all you food prep, dishes and fixings are taken care of. I get up @ 5AM and want to fix coffee without battling dishes ..
#7 All good glass coffee mugs are to be left in the house & backyard sitting area ……. second hand shops carry travel mugs cheap for garage & traveling! This is "MR. Dad SL's" totally and he is batting about a 10% ..... I have had one of my good coffee cups busted cause he left it on his vehicle and drove off, I have found them on the lawn, in the garage and everywhere in between. ! Solution is to remove my good coffee mugs .....
#8 I do not feel it is unreasonable to expect ALL MOVIES to be replaced in their own covers after they are watched! ….. AND put back on the shelf instead of piled high in entertainment center Nope not here either ..... but I removed a lot of our movies and boxed them up ..... so the left out movies are less now ..... sigh!! Solution would be to padlock our Entertainment Center !!
#9 I do not feel it is unreasonable to expect to be able to get up in the morning and be able to make coffee and fixed breakfast in a fairly cleaned up kitchen. 15 minutes can do miracles in there!! ( we have a small galley kitchen) I will give this a 75% of the time .... "Ms. Mama D".... is keeping it done but I'm not sure it's with cheerfulness ...... NO ..... it is probably not! but it's getting done.
#10 I do not feel it is unreasonable to expect ALL toys to be cleaned out of tub after the kids bath. I'll give this about a 90% to .... Good job!
Some of the other things I have ask is or as "Ms. Mama D" calls it the "F-in Lists"
...... #1) "Ms D" has been on a foul language kick FOR ABOUT 2 WEKS NOW ..... with bad unkind and hateful words to express herself to everyone including the 3 and 4 year old!! Her favorite is the "F" word ...... spewing it out in a constant stream when something triggers her, which lately is everything! I have ask she not use that word, I find it very gross!" #2) Water jugs .... I have ask that when drawing hot water to the kitchen that they use our empty gallon jugs to draw off water in ..... Our hot water heater is in the back of the house and takes close to one gallon to get hot water to the kitchen. We use to jugs of water to transport water to our animal water containers.(Me and Hubby have been doing this for years) It is a win win situation and we don't waste water which we pay for by the gallon. "Ms.D" informed me she hasn't been, which is obvious because there are no water jugs with anything in them. She says she is doing the dishes in cold water. EXCEPT the dish washer automatically senses cold and kicks on the "WATER HEATER" SIGH!! ...... #3) I installed a bar over my sink long ago to hang up wet dish clothes. I ask that they be RINSED OUT AND HUNG up after use. ... not happening ...... I find them regularly around the kitchen area waded up and in the sink soaked with debris and nasty. (I just take them tothe laundry room) ..... #4) I occasionally have a container with burnables in it ..... I specifically told everyone the BROWN CAN was burnable stuff so don't put "garbage in it" (it also sat outside the kitchen area in our "Wood stove Room"they had to walk into the Wood Stove Room to put the garbage in here .... and we have a trash can in the kitchen hummmm?? ) ..... SIGH!! ...... kind of getting the feeling it is being done on PURPOSE??? I found non-burnable stuff including coffee grounds with filter piled on top of the burnables Hummmm?? I told them they were cleaning it out! OK so this may be ☛☛☛ Request #5 ☚☚☚ ...... and yes they did after about 4 or 5 requests were made over 3 or 4 days. #6) ....... SIGH!!! yep I do have a list ..... there is a stand by the doorway from the Livingroom to the Stove Room, it has become the "sitting area" for cups, bottles - some empty some partially full, soda cans, dishes etc. and there they plie up until I ask them to clean them up ..... (THIS DOESN'T INCLUDE ALL THE OTHER empty or partially drank cans, cups and bottles sitting around the house ...... )
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