Who am I?

       Who am I? ...... Lately the decision making has escalated  ...... at home and at work. More major decisions in a weeks time then I want to deal with in this century! I wear many hats, Wife, mother, Grandmother, caregiver, babysitter, counselor, friend, "enemy", nursemaid, mechanic, Ms. Fix It, Decorator, Clutter Buster, ....... ,and lately I have had to make some heavy decisions that could, may and will alter other human being's lives. Decisions I am sick about having to make but never the less I am the one where the decision(s) have fallen to me and I have to make them. Somewhere in the recesses of my mind I hear this accusing little voice saying "your playing "god" with these lives ..... yet .... I have been placed in a position where I have been given, designated, and required to make these heart wrenching decisions, despite my unwillingness to make them.
      Without disclosing any information that could breach protocol ..... as an apartment manager there are rules and regulations I am required to follow, uphold and enforce. Eviction is one of those rules I cringe and feel so awful when I have to make the call to evict someone. Being honest here ..... Yep there are some who a HUGH SIGH of RELIEF is heaved when some tenant's move ....... but on a whole it is still a very difficult thing for me.  ...... Then add "home" where we have taken in a family of 5 which has turned to 6 much to my protests and objections. I feel like a worm, and a horrid person for saying NO! ......
       Our Family of 5 ..... has a 17 year old girl with us now .... she belongs to the Momma of this group. ...... When Social Services placed her in her mother's custody several weeks ago .... I had told the mother NO!! ..... we can't do this!! BUT in the complicated mess it is .... the mother brought her in anyway .... and has been clinging to this child major big time every since. I felt maybe we would try with an open mind for 2 weeks ...... 
      The 2 weeks are about up. ..... I personally really like this girl. BUT ..... I am hearing more then seeing some side effects ...... The 3 & 4 year old are saying things they shouldn't be saying .... the 13 year old says it is from the 17 year old ..... I can't prove any different. Daddy (Mr.S) is stressed out ..... way beyond what he should be because he now has a 6th person to support ..... (she smokes and has some court fines to pay) and he's paying for them, for her ...... There will be "chaos to pay" after this all comes to a head .... which it will shortly in a few days ...... I am wondering where I will be mentally in the fall out of all this? Who will I be when this is all said and done?