The frequent bombardment of "upsets" combined with my job factor is beginning to wear on me. I come back to the "race" factor .... I prefer to "SPRINT" ...... but I have been placed in a "MARATHON" ...... yesterday required a lot of prayer ..... that consisted of mainly one word "HELP!!!" ..... I am so thankful that God heard me ..... because my reactions to the mess that was presented me last evening even amazed me .... it would NOT HAVE BEEN MY CHOICE if I had been thinking ..... After the retort from Ms. D about Pixie going into the hospital to see Missy L and Miss K's dad ( see post: re: "Little Lies ...... )
#1) I went back to my office and stayed for about a 1/2 hour. Then I came out and offered to take
Bubby who is 3 into my office to watch .... he was asleep in his car seat. Carried him in car seat
and all ..... HEAVY ..... but I did it. I let her go to hospital alone in case she needed to stay there
with girls .....
#2) She arrived back about 8PM .... The babies hadn't ate yet ..... Ms. D started rambling on about the
mess in the kitchen ..... and needing to fix supper when she got home. I decided to take them all
to McDonalds for a quick bite to eat. Despite her treatment of me earlier I did not mention or bring
up her actions!
At this point their caseworker is involved in this particular situation ..... I had called her and spoken to her about Ms D's actions at the time they occured ..... she ask me to please hold together until the next day ..... which is today and we would have a meeting.
I am looking into the future ..... I can not and do not want to think on where they will be a year from now .... Without outside intervention pushing them and containing them into a course of action, they will be exactly nowhere! ...... That is where they have been for 5 years now ...... and sadly that is where Mr. S has been for 25 years ..... extensive drug use ( pot was his choice) has robbed him of all motivation. Now due to Social Services intervention and drug testing neither him nor Ms. D can partake of it! ........
The Poor will always be with us ..... These people are not only poor finanically, but almost depleted mentally, emotionally, in the "good choice making department". Can they truly be salvaged? Ms. D came out of a relationship with Miss K and Missy L's father (these girls were raised in this atmosphere ..... ) his drug useage and mentality cost his mother her life ..... ! sucked dry by years of inconsiderate actions, no job no motivation except the next round of drugs and where to get them and how ..... open drug usage by the man who is only 42 and now dying. Ms. D hasn't gone too far from this type of living ...... Mr.S has sunk pretty close to this mentality himself. Except I know where he came from and
I still have a glimmer of hope! ...... and Ms. D on her better days is fighting and struggling to pull herself up and out of the mentality ..... she is making it by nanoinches and centimeter's ...... I still have HOPE! Then I see the future of the 3 kids who live here and see HOPE for them with intervention and direction. Yet the pathway is steep at best and full of "Suddenly's and Unexpected moments, dangers and stressful situations ...... my strength and determination are not my own ..... my own left long ago !!
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