Been several weeks of a barrage of "... and suddenly's" .... You barely catch your breathe from one incident and another one is looming like a giant before you .... hyperventilation becomes a norm ... and you find yourself on high alert and defensive ..... which all summed up equals OVERWHELMED!! ...... and I don't read the news or watch TV this is just my everyday life .....
Sat in church this morning listening to our Sunday School teacher. Somewhere in the midst of what he was saying and as the Holy Spirit was administering truth to my "bones" I heard this .... OVERWHELMED TO OVERCOMER .... whew .... 3 words .... but powerful ....
Overwhelmed is like standing at the base of a hugh mountain and looking up at the expanse and the heights of the mountain top and feeling too small, too incapable and too feeble to climb anymore. Weariness pulls at every muscle and emotion, fatigue courses through your body and mind. Discouragement plays with your emotions like a pack of hyena's with a wounded gazelle. You are sinking in the quicksand of "Overwhelmed" ...... Hyperventilation becomes the normal way to breathe, and you almost forget what it's like to breathe deep and slow. Your cry to God becomes a woobly whiney one word emission .... "HELP!"
This was wrote in December of 2015 .....It is now April 1st 2017
.... and I sit here laughing at everything .... BECAUSE IT SOUND LIKE NOW!! ... today @ 5:27PM ..... Some people ask me how I do this ?? I ask "Do what?" they look at my life and wonder how I stay "sane" .... I can testify that PRAYER is my number one mainstay and a close walk with Jesus is the rock on which I stand .....
It's been a year and a half ..... In this time ... there are small and major things that have taken place
This was wrote on April 25th 2016
Well it’s been almost 2 months since I wrote back on March 3rd … Some major events are we had our BIG Tree cut down, it stood almost 6 stories high and covered almost half of our back yard. It was 4 Hackberry trees that had grew together. I am having it cut about 12 ft up from the ground ….. It will create a “umbrella type tree cover eventually. We had to get my stepmom an umbrella for out back now so she don’t have to sit in the sun and smoke her cigs. I was pleasantly surprised at the sturdiness of this wooden umbrella. We just had the tree(s) dropped in our yard, with the noble intent of cutting it up ourselves to save some money .... What we ended up with is a tree shrub, branches & trunks jungle and a MESS!! Our old treadmill died …. well after careful consideration and a lot of phone calls we found out trying to repair one that old may not be wise. SO ….. we have purchased a “new to us” Treadmill .. from a Fitness Center It is used and refurbished, It’s call a LifeFit Treadmill. It’s a commercial grade one … and VERY BIG!! We had to buy a special type of plug in for it …. I haven’t got on it yet but I have
plans to start …. soon!
As an apartment Manager we have our share of the heroin issues @ my apartment complex …. well it has been partially and very very sadly resolved somewhat ….. On April 12th @ 4AM in the morning a young man I will call "J" who is one of my tenant’s son's, had just got out of prison a few weeks before & was already dealing heroin on our property (when he "visited" his mom.) He was hit head on by a tractor trailer well traveling south bound on the Interstate to take his girlfriend to work. She was killed instantly and he was pronounced dead @ 8:30 PM that night. The heartbreaking thing is his mom who is also my tenant is also on heroin …….. and it just breaks my heart to see this tragic story continue this way. One thing for the Grandmother’s sake the accident wasn’t their fault. The driver of the truck fell asleep from what they have learned. It was a mixed bag of emotions for me to say the least …. I had, had opportunity to meet and talk to "J" a couple of times ….. He was a seemingly “nice" kid with a “VERY BAD HABIT!!” ….. DRUGS !!
I didn’t hate him … just what he did … I really cared about his mom & Gma I have sat with them in church off and on …. and I have known the Gma for years ….. so it was like I said a mixed bag of emotions …. hating what "J" did but loving his family and him as a person, I did a lot of praying over the first 72 hours after the crash …. seeking God for an answer in my emotions. …… Some strange answers have arisen that I am still seeking the Lord about …. and still don’t know quite what to make of the answer. I has also given me a different perspective on prayer …..
I have been reading a book called Minding The Spirit based on Romans 8:5 -7 what a fantastic book …. and what an enlightening book …. about the Holy Spirit. Pastor Tom Springer is the writer His special gifting is teaching about the Holy Spirit & JOY ( a side effect of the Holy Spirit) and I have to say it is awesome !!
I have had a change in Maintenance personnel @ my apartment complex. Bub who had been with me since February 2015, last day was April 1st. He was heading to surgery on April 7th … I hired a new person named Mike, he was a newbie to our area & state, hailing from Florida. He actually moved just up the street from my apartments so it makes it convenient for him to get to and from work. He’s really good at Maintenance and use to work for an apartment complex in FL. so he has some of the job descriptions down really good.
The guy who owns property down back of us … started having the woods logged … they are cutting cedar out. A tractor trailer loaded with cedar logs comes in & out of our country cow path driveway. We were blessed in that the logging company fixed the top of our driveway so the big truck could get in & out. It use to be up hill and then a steep uphill grade to come out of at the top the road ... now its all a gradual uphill grade and WIDE. We have told them they could cut the large cedar in our driveway too if they want it. It's pretty dead from continual cuttings by the electric company when they trim back trees from the power lines.
I would love to build a gazebo on the concrete pad that exsists in our backyard, … But it’s a dream I will have to keep for a while longer.Spent a nice day with my 3 grandkids it was a nice day together …. My oldest grandchild had brought a friend up so they stayed outside and played. Back @ Christmas time … the youngest grandson who is 2 literally cried the whole time we all were at thier house for Christmas. Lots od socail anxiety issues (People make him cry in general) He's come a long way in a few months.
My son thinks he has a bulging disc or two in his back. He is presently going to a chiropractor and a regular doctor too for physical therapy … health insurance makes you go to a regular doctor & physical therapy in order to get an MRI. …. his one leg is numb from the knee down.
Lee and I went out and cut on our tree pile for a bit, we figure if we work at it every few nights we can get it done easier then try and exhaust ourselves for a full day.
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