From Kids to Animals ..... Love, no matter if it is for a human child, or a 4 footed furry "baby" can be an intense, heart warming, gut wrenching endeavor and undertaking. It is a commitment with one's heart to love and to nurture and to let go when one has too .......
Today is December 28th 2014 ....... It has been a year of learning to "LET GO" and deal with a "PLETHORA of EMOTIONS" ...... on many fronts in many ways ........
I am going just start writing and go where my fingers lead over this keyboard ..... I am going to vsit some of the intense times and feelings that have came and went, and are still here ...........
By the end of October 2014 I had let go of both kids, Pixie to her Daddy and Bubby to his Mommy. My daughter had returned from being gone for 3-1/2 years with her Bassett hound Homer, and her "Chaweenie" that's a Toy Chihuahua and a Toy Dachshund mix named Darla or as we called her Dar-Dar and her 5 - one week old puppies and their daddy was Toy Chihuahua ( he didn't come with them) .... so we had 5 tiny ones. We added her managerie to ours of 4 dogs, 2 kittens, and 4 cats.
Hubby went into surgery on November 4th and was in the hospital for 2 weeks ..... During that time ..... the transmission began to die on our 2004 Chevy pick-up the last couple of days I had to travel to the hospital 50 miles away. ........ On a cold Sunday afternoon I went to retrieve him from the hospital ...... was within a couple of miles and SIGH ..... the tranny decided to do some "strange things" ........ made it to the hospital, retrieved hubby, headed home ..... decided to go the "back way" home if possible. Made it about 10 miles from the hospital and broke down completely! Thank God for shopping plazas and stores ..... especially those wheelchairs ..... loaded Hubby up and we spent the next hour waiting on family to come get us.
The following day SNOW!! ICE!! NASTY!! ....... I had to venture out and meet the tow truck driver to hand over the truck keys so he could go get the pick up. ........ Truck went to the garage ..... $1600.00 and a few days later we had a new transmission installed ..... God bless our bank and all the people who work there. ......... Before we were able to get the truck out of the garage .... my little ole jeep decided to do some breaking down it's self too ..... over heated on the way to work and I had to get that towed into the garage ......the casing (Thermostat Housing) that went to the thermostat was cracked and had to be replaced. ...... Truly a lot simpler and cheaper then a transmission. .............
There are times in your life when SUDDENLY BAD THINGS happen ...... and you think and move more from automation then anything else. ........ It is during these times you find out what your made of ...... that is ..... what have you been "feeding on mentally" during the easier times in your life??!!" .......... A bear feeds on food that will help build fat to store for winter hibernation ..... likewise it is vital that a human "feed" mentally on things that will build up, encourage, and hold you over during these rough times in your life.
Prayer and a good grasp on God's Word is where I find "Mental Food" that gives me positive endurance and encouragement for tough times.
Forward ...... to Thanksgiving time 2014 ...... Bubby's Mommy went back to live with her husband ..... who she was still married to, even after living 5 years with Pixie & Bubby's daddy. They came to visit and spend Thanksgiving with her father in law who had recently moved from a nursing home into his own place. (he'd been there for a leg removal & rehab for a year) They didn't have their own transportation and had to rely on someone going in that direction. ..... They arrived Thanksgiving morning ...... by Sunday they realized they had a problem .... no one to take them back home ....... The following week it became apparent that the person who brought them had no intentions of taking them back ...... by December 4th they had been informed their electric had been shut off where they were living, and by December 10th someone had ransacked their place and the Landlord had shut it down ...... All said and done ...... I had Bubby back in my life big time !!! ........ so I see him a lot ......
On December 1st Oscar, the puppy my daughter was keeping became ill and we took it to the vets ..... NOT PARVO! On December 5th ..... Darla, and two more puppies became ill ...... we assumed it wasn't Parvo again ........ But was wrong ..... by the morning of December 8th two puppies had died and I had to take Darla to the vets ....... she had Parvo and was in serious condition .... they couldn't save her ...... My daughter was a mess!! and I had to come home and bury two puppies and their mama. ........
More highly charged emotional times ...... NUMB is the best way I can describe how I felt during these days .....I didn't think, I tried to not feel, and mostly lived from moment to moment on automation. In between all this ..... was tragedy, heart break & mind numbing things going on around us. ......... a few weeks prior to my daughter coming back I was @ my sons on a Saturday and we recieved a call their stepbrother had taken his own life ..... I'd know this kid since he was little and had been friends with his mom for years, (she had been my ex-husband's 2nd wife) .....well we were still absorbing this news the phone rang again and eventually found out a neighbor of mine had passed away unexpectedly, the family went to my church ....... Day after day it seemed more sad, events began to unfold in peoples lives around me ..... Then my 52 year old cousin died unexpectedly she had battled health issues but this was still unexpected!! ....... She called my Mom every day so this was a GREAT LOSS to my Mom. ...... more emotionally charged events ......
These are the times, no matter how religious you are, no matter how upbeat or positive you may try and lead your life. no matter how much of a person of prayer you are ...... WHEN YOU HIT THE AUTOMATION BUTTON because your mind and emotions have hit over the capacity load you can carry, you often become reduced to a numb, walking piece of humanity who has set all functions on autopilot. ....... there is no magic formula, no answers to your questions ....... just one mind numbing moment after another ..... IT IS BEFORE ALL THIS HAPPENS THAT IT IS IMPORTANT TO BUILD YOUR FOUNDATION, ESTABLISH THAT PERSONAL RELATIONSHIP WITH GOD, LAY UP SOME SOLID EMOTIONAL GROUND, AND PRACTICE WHAT YOU BELIEVE. BECAUSE ....... the day and time will come in everyones life when all hell breaks loose and you will need your sturdy foundation and your unshakeable ground to stand on! ........ well the earth is shaking around you and everything seems to be falling away ....... when all you have left is YOUR PERSONAL RELATIONSHIP WITH God ......
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